I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
