I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
