she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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