i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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