and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
