She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
