He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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