do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
