So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
