You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm at about main and main street
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
