i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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