I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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