im so drunk with asians
where?
always
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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