my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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