I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
