honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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