I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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