I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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