like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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