No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
