You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
