did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
