If i come over, it means nothing
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
