Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize