me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
