The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
