Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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