what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
