It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
