I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
