omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My vagina is very pro this idea
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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