I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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