New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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