but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
