Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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