WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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