Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
