whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
