I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
