I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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