And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
