it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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