I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
