Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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