OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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