Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Randomize
