yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
