he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
