found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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