And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
