Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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