your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm getting married
To pizza
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
