Screwed.edu
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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