okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
high people should be assigned attendants
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
