I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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