I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Randomize
