You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
